Have you ever sat through a wedding ceremony and thought ‘is this ever going to end?’ or not even listened to what is being said, as it was a bit tedious? That was me over the years until I went to a friend’s wedding and she had a celebrant. It was such a wonderful ceremony – full of laughter and references to how the couple met. They had even got their pet pooch to deliver the wedding rings to the front. I loved it. I hadn’t known there was an alternative so now that I am a qualified wedding celebrant myself, I thought I would explain your options in more detail.

Marriage and weddings

I know it sounds daft but there is a fundamental difference. Marriage is the legal part where you and your partner are with a registrar and repeat set words in front of two witnesses. Then you sign a register and are granted a certificate of marriage.

A wedding on the other hand is the fun part, in front of family and friends where you get to say ‘I do’ and exchange rings, plus include rituals, traditions and anything else you might want to include. This does not have to be on the same day as the legal marriage.

The important thing to remember: you can have a wedding without getting married. And you don’t need to get married on the same day as your wedding.

There are three current ways you can legally be married in England and Wales. In a church, at a registry office or at a licensed venue by a registrar (like a hotel). A celebrant can’t marry you (yet!) but they can conduct your wedding.

Black and white image of a married couple

The Church of England

I’ll not claim to be an expert in the church, but the Church of England has written a great section about weddings on their website. If you are at all interested – enjoy!

The registrar: The legal expert

A civil ceremony is with a registrar, who is a government-appointed official and their primary role is to legally marry couples. The ceremonies are typically straightforward, adhering to a set script and format. There can be no religious references. Bizarrely, there are only around 40 words that need to be said for you to be officially married! You can either go to the registry office or the registrar can go to venues where the room has been granted a license for the marriage to take place.

Pros: Handles the legal aspects of marriage efficiently. It’s very quick and if the marriage ceremony is not an important aspect of your wedding, then this part is over and done.
Cons: You don’t get to meet the registrar in advance so it is rather impersonal and there is limited flexibility in terms of ceremony content, location, and timing.

The celebrant: The personal touch

A celebrant is a professional who specialises in creating personalised wedding ceremonies. They are not legally authorised to marry couples in England but can conduct beautiful and meaningful ceremonies that can be complemented by a short, separate legal ceremony.

Pros: Unlimited creativity and customisation. Choice of location and timing. Focus on the couple's love story. You can include religious references if you wanted (or exclude), it’s completely up to you.
Cons: Requires additional planning to arrange the legal aspect of the marriage. Your celebrant will be able to guide you on the formalities.

Kirsten the celebrant wearing a green dress with a couple at their wedding

Essential guide to options

If you have decided to use a registrar to get married, rather than a church-based marriage, you need to ‘give notice’ of your intention. This needs to happen at least 29 days before the marriage and ensures that you are legally free to marry one another. There is a cost of £42-£60 depending on the day of the week of your appointment and which council area you live in. There are specific documents that you need to take with you. A full list is available here.

If you have chosen to get married in a church, the process of giving notice is called ‘Reading of Banns’. It’s an ancient tradition still used today – and like a registrar-based marriage, it is to give people an opportunity to object, if for any reason you are not legally entitled to marry.

Whatever your religion, marriage is classed as a solemn contract between two people that involves a number of rights and obligations with regard to children, property, money and behaviour.

A sign that says 'Eat, drink and be married'

Costs involved at a registry office

If you have decided on a simple signing of the register, you can make an appointment at a registry office. At Sheffield Register Office for example, you can do the legal part for £68.50, where you make an appointment with the registrar and you sign your marriage certificate in front of two witnesses. You don’t need to exchange rings or personal vows – you can save this for your wedding celebration. There is an additional cost for the actual wedding certificate.

There are other options available if you wanted a short and sweet ceremony and can have as many as 50 guests with you. There is a choice of ceremony rooms available.

It’s a low cost, quick and simple marriage.

Getting hitched at your venue

Many hotels and wedding venues have special rooms designed for legal ceremonies. These rooms have a license, meaning a registrar can come there to marry you on your big day. It's like a mini-registry office within your venue. It is more expensive to ask the registrar to come to the venue.

But here’s the thing: while it’s convenient to get married at your venue, it's not your only option. You don't have to sign a marriage register on the same day as your wedding celebration. You can have a legal ceremony before or after the wedding and focus on a personalised celebration with a celebrant.

So, even if your dream venue has a licensed room, don't feel pressured to use it if it doesn't fit your vision.

Let your venue know that you would like a celebrant-led wedding – or do some research yourself to find a celebrant that you think would be perfect for you on your big day.

The celebrant option: A personalised ceremony

Imagine having a wedding ceremony that reflects your unique love story, filled with personal touches and meaningful moments. That's the magic of a celebrant-led wedding. Here’s why:

Unlimited creativity and customisation: Unlike traditional ceremonies, a celebrant-led wedding allows you to personalise every aspect. Write your own vows, incorporate cultural traditions, or even include your pet in the ceremony! It's your day, your way.
Choice of location and timing: Want to get married on a mountaintop or in your back garden? No problem! Celebrants offer flexibility in choosing the perfect location and timing for your ceremony.
Focus on your love story: A celebrant takes the time to get to know you as a couple and weave your story into the ceremony. It becomes a celebration of your unique bond, not just a legal formality.

Costs do vary for a celebrant as there is a lot of work involved in getting to know you and crafting the perfect ceremony. Shop around to find the right fit for you and your budget.

Combining the two

While celebrants can't legally marry you, you can still have the best of both worlds! Here's how it works:

Schedule a separate legal ceremony with a registrar at a registry office or a licensed venue. This is a quick and simple process to fulfil the legal requirements.
Work with your celebrant to create a personalised ceremony that reflects your love story and preferences. This is where the magic happens!
Celebrate your love with a beautiful and meaningful ceremony officiated by your celebrant.

Remember: While a celebrant offers more flexibility and personalisation, it's essential to ensure that the legal requirements for marriage are met separately.

Your wedding options: Registrar vs. Celebrant